Why we do Fair

The most dreaded part of the 4H, FFA and fair experience is the record book turned into the office with each project just before the fair begins.  The most grueling, strenuous and burdensome part of it all is the very final section- the summary story of the project.  In truth it isn’t really that hard, but it requires a lot of thought and introspection about the 4H-er and their project.  

Maybe it is the summer long break from school or the need for self reflection but there is something about this part of their project wrap up that seems especially hard.  I hate to admit it but at our house the outright dislike of this task turns to snarky comments that takes a magic wand to channel and harness into more appropriate answers.  

The easiest prompt to answer, but replied to with the most bite, is always, “Why did you do this project?”.  Every parent, coach, leader, and mentor hopes to hear that their participants do it because they want to, they like the project, or they are excited to learn more about the subject.  Even the simple answer that it was “fun” would suffice.

My kids never tell me those sort of replies, especially when it comes to their Market Beef record book. Their answer, year after year, is that their parents make them do it.  Short, sweet and to the point.  A close second has always been, “To make money.”  For a long time I made them dig deep and look for one or two reasons they wanted to do their 4H projects that had nothing to do with parents and money, mostly because I was a little embarrassed.  I didn’t want anyone else to know that my kids had a crummy attitude about the project.

This year was different.  I’m not sure why, but I let my kids put the mom-makes-me-do-it answer.  With one caveat-  we add WHY mom and dad want them to do the project.  They had to put in all the details why mom and dad think it’s important to take on such a big project even when they don’t want to.

Raising a steer is no easing feat.  It’s near ything other than working with their steers, especially on the cold winter days or hot summer days.  They remind me they don’t want to do it.  They beg to be done.

I make them do it anyway.  

You could call me a mean mom, they sometimes do.  Most of the time we let our kids lead out in activities, choosing to be in different sports, clubs, and the like.  If they are interested, we jump in and support them and if they aren’t interested, we don’t force it.

Except for this.

There is something about this sort of project, this challenge that helps them learn, grow, and develop in ways that I can’t seem to replicate anywhere else.  The hard things they have to do, the scary things they have to do, the responsibility it demands, and the accountability exacts slowly shapes them into courageous, daring, independent young people that know how to get a job done.

Then they head to the fair where all of their hard work is on display.  They showcase their projects, knowing that there are imperfections, quirks and weaknesses.  They enter the show ring surrounded by a crowd of onlookers, some there to cheer on, but most there to critique.  They do their best to act calm, cool and collected but inside they are nervous, frustrated, and wishing things could just go their way.  They listen to a judge talk a little good and a little bad about their project, holding their head up high regardless of the words shared their way.  Through it all they learn about pride, poise, and purpose.  

After the show, without any prodding from mom and dad, they congratulate their fellow competitors or in some cases, buoy them up when they feel down about the results of the show.  Having just gone through the same experience, they have a lot of grace and compassion for their neighbor, even if they had the calf that was ranked over them.

Then comes sale day, their pay day for all the blood, sweat, tears, time and money put into their project.  It’s a nerve racking day, in a whole different way.  They aren’t wrong when they say money talks, especially at a market animal sale.  Some learn to be thankful for even a little pay, maybe far less than the animal across the way.  Others are paid above and beyond what they had hoped to earn, experiencing an overwhelming feeling of gratitude.

 And just as fast as the fair week came, it is gone and they have to say goodbye.  In some ways there is a feeling of relief for the pressure to be gone, but then there is still a sense of longing for the adventure to not be over quite yet.  

Despite the ups and downs of the ride, the greatest feeling of all is the sense of accomplishment of making it to the finish line of such an immense task.  Suddenly it wasn’t so bad of an experience.  Somehow looking back, all the hours spent walking, washing, and fitting seem more fun and easy than they were in the moment.  They see their own growth, change, and progress, something that only came from enduring hard work.

4H, FFA, or the county fair might not be for everyone and that’s ok, but if you ever wonder why we do it, this is it.  It is to teach our kids to push through the hard, to push through the fear, and to push through the disappointment.  We hope and pray that things will work out and that they will have success, but we also know that there is only one winner at the end of the day.  We know that they can show up to the fair and their animal might not cooperate.  We know that we have great competition and our best efforts might not be enough.

At a quick glance, it might look like the fair is about fluffy animals and fancy shows.  Sure, that is a big part of it.  But the culmination isn’t really about how much that animal grew over the season, but rather how much that youth did.