Adventures are important for kids

Ranch kids can sometimes be a sort of a phenomenon.  They are little bodies with big dreams and ideas trapped inside without the thought that they can’t do whatever it is that they want to do.  They go about following the big ranchers working day in and day out and figure they are just as capable, just as intuitive and just as strong.  As funny and maybe even as frustrating as it is, they don’t seem to believe that they have any limits.

With a big wide world out there to explore, why should they ever believe they can’t accomplish what they set their mind to?

The truth is, in an attempt to keep kids safe, opportunities for childhood crusades are going by the wayside.  Instead of letting kids roam around the neighborhood or take a walk down the street with their friends, they are being cooped up under the constant supervision of helicopter parents.  And unfortunately, it is beginning to take its toll.

Speaking with the Washington Post in October of 2023, psychology research professor Peter Gray and anthropologist David Lancy admitted concerns they have that the lack of truly independent play is leading to a mental health crisis in kids.

Some favorite movies from my childhood center around a pack of friends that gather out on the streets to play pick-up games, form a club or just hang out.  From the Sandlot to The Little Rascals to The Goonies they showed life as a kid independent of hovering adults that wanted to ensure that they could stay safe and happy.

It’s too bad that in an attempt to help, to keep them from harm, to prevent the possible bad that COULD happen, kids are also being kept from the amazing growth we know could also happen.  Instead, what kids are learning is that bad things are constantly happening around them and they alone can’t handle it.  They need parents to tell them to avoid falling off the fence or how to not scrape up their knees.  And as they grow up, they are going to face far bigger challenges and just might not have the mental toughness to handle it.  Sadly enough, kids are more likely to suffer from the devastating effects of anxiety and depression than they are of scraping a knee, breaking an arm or evening being kidnapped by a stranger these days. 

While there are countless reasons I’m grateful to raise my kids on the ranch, watching them learn to be independent as they work and play has got to be top of the list.  They come and go for drinks and snacks, to grab a rope or to snag a tool, but for the most part my kids, like so many other ranch kids, are out for adventure all day everyday.  Am I nervous that the worst possible scenario could happen?  Often, yes.  But we are choosing to live outside of that fear and when we do, we see our kids flourish.

More often than not, I’m surprised how wrong I can be when I think my kids can’t do something or might get hurt.  We come along a situation that I want to carefully steer everyone through only to find that these industrious, creative and competent kids are already masters of sticky situations.  They know how to solve problems and fix what seems to be broken.  And they prove to me time and time again that there is very little they can’t handle.

Because I’m a mom, I probably won’t stop worrying or thinking of those scary things that might happen.  But when I do, I want to remember that instead of trying to protect them with a helpless shield of don’t-do-that-you-might-get-hurt, I have already armed them with past experiences of strength, courage and know-how to help them get through the next big challenge.