Mother's Day Special - Ruby Conlin

Ruby Nielson was born in the “Land of Enchantment”, New Mexico, Bluewater Village. She met Bart Conlin while studying at BYU. He was immediately enchanted and worked hard to convince Mom that he was a good choice. They married in June 1965. She began her adventure in motherhood in August 1966, in Provo, UT, when they welcomed Scott to the world. As fresh graduates, they moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico, for a new job. Mom tells the story of being determined to be a good mother by keeping her sweet baby wrapped warmly in a blanket as they traveled to New Mexico. At one stop, an older woman took a look at baby Scott bundled up on this hot summer day and stated, “You poor thing!” She startled our mother by taking Scott out of the blankets and then giving him back. While initially offended, Mom was a quick learner. We regularly saw her seek wisdom, classes, and teachings in several areas of her life, including how to be a good mother. 

Bart and Ruby welcomed Tracy, Mark, and Cindy into the family while living in New Mexico. Mom recalls enduring some criticism while there about the size of her family. The sudden and unexpected passing of Bart’s father in October 1971 triggered some soul-searching and a decision to move to Soda Springs, Idaho, to buy the family farm north of town. With hearts full of faith, they took on this new adventure, firm in their commitment to welcome all the children the Lord would send them. They moved to Soda Springs in 1972 and began to settle in, working together on the farm and in Bart’s CPA practice. While living in Soda Springs, the second half of their family arrived: Joe, Laurie, Julie, Suzy, and Kristy. 

We regularly heard our parents say, like other farmers, that the main “crop” they grew were their children.  We worked together and played together as a family–planting and harvesting, picking rocks, growing a large garden, and enjoying picnics and floating down the Blackfoot River at the family ranch.   Mom and Dad told us stories of how they had  “honeymooned” in the primitive cabin at the ranch without electricity the first summer of their marriage to save money for school while Bart was working a nearby job. In the aspen grove on the property, Mom had carved a large heart around the words “Ruby Loves Bart”. We all loved seeing that carving for many years. Some summers, we hosted large extended family reunions at the ranch that included ‘talent’ shows, horseshoe competitions, volleyball tournaments, and other activities to entertain the kids and delight the adults.  Other summers, we took road trips to attend reunions hosted by the extended family, and to visit national parks and historical sites.  As we drove along, Mom read to us from books related to our destination or fiction that could entertain us for the trip’s duration.  At home, she regularly took us to the Soda Springs library, allowing each of us to select books to check out, which she read to us before tucking us into bed each evening.  She volunteered in our Cub, Boy, and Girl Scout programs, and also in our school classrooms, even teaching a module on Shakespeare in some of our elementary school classes.  Mom enrolled us in sports and other community activities like 4-H. She co-founded and ran the Soda Springs Girls Little League Basketball Program so her daughters would have the same sporting opportunities as her sons.  She was and continues to be active in church, serving where she is asked to serve. We honor both of our parents, but would like to give special tribute to our Mother by sharing some of the nuggets of wisdom that she passed on to us.

Scott’s wife, Melanie: I have LOVED having a Mother-in-law I can turn to as we’ve raised our family. Grandma Ruby once told me when I was desperately struggling to ‘get through’ to a child, “The best time to give swimming lessons isn’t while the person is drowning.” She then pointed out I’d probably have better luck if I shared fun, close times & in a quiet private time together we could discuss the issue.  Her sweet wisdom has blessed me all my life.

Tracy: Fake it till you Make it.  Mom taught me that everyone feels insecure and inadequate at times. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try or that we are incapable. She suggested that if I acted confident and did my best that not only would most people not know how insecure I felt, but that acting confident would instill confidence and I would be able to accomplish what I set out to do. 

Mark:  The advice I received from Mom when I was getting married to Rebecca was “to simply love her.”  Wise advice that I am still trying to apply!

Cindy: Life is what you make it.  If a situation isn’t working for you, take action to change it.  After seeing her older daughters’ high school basketball teams lose most of their games, Mom co-created and ran the Soda Springs Girls Little League Basketball program so her younger daughters would have more practice opportunities.  She was delighted, along with the community, to see the harvest for these early seeds when the Soda Springs Girls Basketball team won the state championship.

Likewise, Mom is active in creating memories with family and friends. Since retiring, Mom and Dad often travel to visit their family and friends and attend their grandchildren’s school plays, sporting events, and significant religious milestones.  In this way, they have cultivated rich and meaningful relationships that bring them joy.

Mom also shows by example how to make your own fun by looking for opportunities around you.  During their several LDS missions, Mom looked for local events and activities they could do in their free time.  They walked the length of the Erie Canal during their mission to Palmyra, New York, and saw many plays, museums, parks, and historical sites on their missions to New York City and Washington DC. 

Joe: First things first. Mom taught me to prioritize the most important things, even if they weren’t very enjoyable, before the less important things that might be more enjoyable. She helped me learn that the longer term sense of satisfaction and peace at knowing that the most important things were done and I could use the remaining time as I wished was better than the short term pleasure of doing less important things and then panicking as I tried to complete the important items before a deadline.

Laurie: Seek a positive attitude to approach the work at hand. I have two examples. First, when I was a mother of young babies, Mom encouraged me to stop counting the hours of sleep I was or was not getting. She said that would only lead me to feeling more anxious and upset. Instead, she encouraged me to appreciate the sleep I could get, and instead to adjust my schedule and expectations as needed. Second, when work needs to be done and there is grumbling and grouchiness from the family, the mother’s attitude will influence the entire family’s attitude. Mom used a cheerful song to cheer herself for the task at hand. Before long, she was cheerful and it was contagious. She often used singing and storytelling on our way to and from the ranch and while working. Some of my most pleasant memories come from our times working together at the ranch due to these efforts. As a side effect, we had plenty of amusing songs, silly jokes, and goofy skits ready to try around campfires at the ranch.

Julie: Always try to say "yes" to as many fun things as you can because life provides enough "no".  Some requests seem too hard, too expensive, or too tiring but when you find a way and a time, the memories fill our life with the treasures of love, learning, family, and a life
well lived!

Suzy: Two wrongs don’t make a right.  That helped me learn how to regulate my emotions when I felt harmed by someone.  I can choose my next action wisely, being the person I want to be rather than acting impulsively or vengefully.

Kristy: Trust in the Lord, and He’ll make it turn out right. Nobody's life turns out how they plan or expect it to. Mom taught me that whatever happens to me, good or bad, can be used for my growth and betterment if I approach it with the right attitude and trust God's plan for me. “You can choose to let your challenges make you bitter or better.” This growth mindset has served me well and fostered a love of learning and of God.